Guest post Tuesday! Today’s writer is an old friend of mine, someone I met my first year in ministry when we found ourselves in the same discussion group. She is an infectious person, in the most positive sense of the word, and uses more exclamation points (!!!) than anyone I know. So, meet Kelsey, and cheer her on at the end by leaving a comment.
I LOVE PB&J… It’s my go-to Favorite Breakfast! Peanut Butter, Jelly Time!
I eat it open face in the morning, you know I want to keep it classy in those early morning hours where I feel like there is a lot of flurry… Makeup to do, emails to write, and lists that have piled of expectations I have not managed to accomplish yet!
Hunks of fruit heaped on sprouted bread, and a crunch that tastes so delicious and familiar. I also love the bread to be really toasted, like a 5 on my toaster! Haha, that compliments the gooey peanut butter spread and extends comfort in those early morning hours of each day!
I should back up and say… I’m a quirky person by nature and having rituals and rhythms makes life, in more ways than I care to admit, feel manageable!
Want a small glimpse into a few of my rituals… Well, I pump my gas to the nearest $.05… $32.95, $22.15, etc, always needs to end with a 5! I have used the same pink comb since high school, pulled my hair to the same side of my face with a bobby pin with the same hair spray brand to hold my massive curly hair captive, I open the blinds in my house in the same order every morning, and always use 3 exclamation points, at least, at the end of every text!!!
I am a walking ritual in so many ways… a creature of rhythm, habit, or maybe a small case of some OCD tendencies I might need to explore after writing this. Haha! These small moments of ritual provide some consistency in the day ahead.
In the early morning hours, I roll out of bed, make my way downstairs, open the blinds, pour my dark roast coffee, and put my toast in the toaster.
It is with the smell of peanuts, and their nuzzle… I Am Here is spoken!
I am embarrassed about the cry of my heart most days as I sip coffee, and eat my PB & J. It weighs with the longings and desires I have, all of the things I want to change about the world, about me… all I wish was different, or the small things I find myself being frustrated by way too easily. The moments of anxiety, mixed with a delightful jam or jelly. There are the days I feel uncertain and it all weighs a little more on me. I can honestly get lost in here. My own head, the swirling thoughts and fears that come with each day.
Then their noses press into me. They look with their big brown eyes, and I see two faces, and I hear it again, “I am Here.”
These furry, friendly faces, my two Giant Goldendoodles, or as they are usually referred to… The SnuggleBears. Goofy, large, wonky, and all sorts of fluff, these two, bound down the stairs with an ease… Another Morning!!!
They hear the toaster, they sit and watch. They sit patiently and wait. Ever since I have had Mason and Milo, now 8 & 7, they have joined me on the couch with the Today Show, Journaling, Coffee, and PB & J!
It might be perfection, even as I think about it now, my heart leaps. These two buddies, side by side with their big brown eyes focused on one thing… TOAST!!!
I couldn’t tell you when this all started, but the boy dogs know they always get the right corner of the toast after I am done, which means I start eating on the left corner… Ok, as I re-read that I realize I might be a bit obsessive! Haha but it’s true… I eat it clockwise. They know my rhythm so well now that they wait. Eyes big, glued to the bread… Mason always drools just a little, but not enough to be too gross, and Milo slumps down, head resting on the edge of the couch, trusting he won’t have to fight for his piece.
They sit, they wait, they watch. Attentive. Patient.
It is so simple. It is so sweet. Honestly, it is our little rhythm. A ritual of being fully present.
Those big, brown eyes that reassure me they are present to me. Without an agenda, well besides wanting a bite. Fully embracing the current moment. Fully Present.
In those quiet moments, I hear it quite loudly through their faces, “I Am Here!”
I am REMINDED of the one that is always present. Without agenda or distraction. The one that KNOWS my rhythm, my tendencies, my fears. The one that sits patiently with me in ALL things. Our God, who extends His hand and gives us the right corner… THE BIG Right Corner. Always the right, best corner for us because He knows us. He knows what we need!
Without distraction, I can be patient with myself again because I trust our God will give me GOOD things. I am known and seen, plunged into the depths of His love.
He will give us Himself. Everyday. Through the noise in my own head, and the longings of my heart He sits and waits with me, “I am Here!” And especially in the mess of this junky, broken world, my longing is to know He is near.
Yes, through drool, wet doggie noses, wagging fluffy tails, corner pieces of bread, and peanut butter I am reminded that there is one who is always present with me!
I want to look at my God with unwavering trust, He has this. He has me. In fact, I would argue he stares right back at each of us with gushing amounts of love, grace, and big right corner pieces of goodness!!!
“You are welcome!!!” I exclaim to the boys, as I stand up, and if dogs can smile, they do!!! And then I smile too, eyes big for the day ahead “Thank You Lord, I will be present to You today!!!”
Little lessons from my friends with four paws, who love their right corner piece of PB &J!
Kelsey might look like Ms. Frizzle, but her LAST name is Jenney. She believes that in this life we are given joy, laughter, and soooo much LOVE!!! She is on Young Life Staff in Michigan, and has a deep love for ALL things Animals, especially her TWO Puppers Mason and Milo. She enjoys scarves, black coffee, walking, and watching all things Real Housewives. She can never have enough Peanut Butter, Hummus, or Guacamole… OR Wine and Vegan Treats if we are getting REAL honest! You can find her on her blog or on Twitter. It’s Cara again: didn’t Kelsey just WAKE YOU UP this morning? Pups and peanut butter and God – it doesn’t get much better than that. Leave her a message below!