This utterly first-world problem happened while we were in Boston:
I treated myself to a new pair of walking shoes the day before we left for our trip – wore them on Sunday and Monday, and then forgot the left mate, likely leaving it under a curtain or beneath the bed at Hotel #1. And after several attempts at kindly talking to Housekeeping (aren’t you proud?), we came up with our own conspiracy theory of sorts: it’d gone straight to the garbage can. Boo!
I now have the right mate sitting by its lonesome in my closet, hoping that the Doubletree will kindly send me a check for $84, or that Born will somehow mercifully happen to have one lefty sitting in the rejects bin, awaiting shipment to me.
I told you it was a first-world problem.
But here’s the deal: I know this really isn’t a problem, neither in the larger picture of life, in the near-distant future, nor in the big scheme of things. I know that full well. And I’m not trying to pretend like it is – but humorously, I suppose, this is what I choose to portray as problematic to the world via the portals of Facebook and Instagram and the like.
I don’t choose to post pictures of the HBH hooked up to an IV drip in an emergency room.
I don’t choose to post status updates about my terribly horrible most heinous day.
I don’t choose to even display pictures of Cancan’s pre-nap, Crabby McCrabberson, cranky, tearful little self.
But that doesn’t mean that life isn’t hard – or that hard things aren’t going on in life right that very moment, even if those who don’t know me very well think this true. And whether this is right or wrong, I think many of us do the same, choosing to portray a view of ourselves – and our lives – to the rest of the world we think they want to see.
Maybe we’re scared. Maybe it’s not yet time to go this public. Maybe there’s an anti-technology private part of ourselves that we’d like to remain sacred, when most everything else seems so public.
And this is okay.
I choose to use this platform as an act of bravery in the midst of truth-telling – but even so, this is just a nugget of the bigger picture of our lives. Instead, a whole lot of unanswered questions stream through my mind, begging for resolution, though none is found. And like Lucy in Prince Caspian, I beg Aslan for answers:
Why didn’t you come roaring in and save us like last time?
And it’s in the midst of sitting in the gray, in not understanding, as I try to wear my Big Girl Brave Face even when I just don’t get it, that He answers:
Things never happen the same way twice, dear one.
So I sit and I rest in this truth today …even if, by all outward appearances, I post shiny, glittery status updates and bubbly, perky pictures of the baby for the greater world to see.
What about you? Do you portray an online Glittering Image to the outside world?0