This is my weetle brudder Brandon. He’s kind of a big deal.
Truth be told, my brother is not actually a cartoon character, nor has he played one in real life (but he did choose to once have this as his Facebook profile picture, from which I lifted this photo). But the real reason why he’s kind of a big deal all stems from this lovely little picture of him, circa 1999, or thereabouts:
Brandon enlisted in the Navy upon graduating from high school, with dreams of living on a submarine under water for days and weeks and months at a time. He then served in the military for 11 years, got himself a lovely wife and cute kid in the process, and once again became a civilian, moving his family to Idaho in the process. And that is where his “big deal” status comes from, for he just had an article written about him!
Read here: Brandon makes it famous in the Keizertimes.
It’s no joke: he’s pretty smart. And now everyone knows it. Upon reading the article, you’ll find yourself musing over (and subsequently looking up, if you’re honest) words and phrases like “prototype engineroom” and “geothermal energy,” and of course, “uranium” – which I haven’t thought much about since my 11th grade chemistry class.
I’ll be signing autographs on behalf of his smartness and famousness later.
Until then, Miss I-still-don’t-know-what-geothermal-energy-means. Amen.0