Our mantra as of late has been the following:
Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.
It applies to the babies, when they try their hardest to “fly” off bunkbeds four feet in the air, believing their actions both wholly invincible and without any consequences.
It applies to the HBH (Hot Black Husband) and to me, when we take on more than we can handle, when we fill our plates with all the Really Good Things. We forget that we’re not twenty-three anymore, and we fill up our schedules with the many things we could be doing, instead of the few things we should be doing.
Our current list includes but is not limited to the following examples:
*Just because we can drink a glass of wine every night of the week, doesn’t mean we should drink a glass of wine every night of the week.
*Just because I can click “purchase” on that gorgeous new bookcase from Pottery Barn, doesn’t mean I should click purchase on that gorgeous new bookcase from Pottery Barn.
*Just because I can say yes to new jobs, new writing assignments and new travel assignments, doesn’t mean I should say yes to new jobs, new writing assignments and new travel assignments.
I could go on, but there’s a point at which saying no is healthy, too. There’s a point at which living in excess – and believing we won’t reap the consequences of our me-me-me-me-me, now-now-now-now-now choices – begins to get the better of us. There’s a point at which the patterns and cycles and hamster-wheel choices we’ve made catch up with us.
We get tired.
We get cranky.
We forget how to love deeply and love well, like we really mean it.
I don’t know what it is for you, but I do know what it is for me. So, I’m gearing up to finish strong in certain areas of my life. I’m gearing up to say “no” to a couple of really, really good things so I can say a bigger “yes.” I’m gearing up to further enter into becoming who I really am when I’m not wearing the masks of doing all and being all, just because I can.
I’m narrowing my focus.
I’m hunkering down, just as I should have been doing all along – because moving and transitions and starting over afford me this space.
So, friend, try the phrase out for a day and see its effect. Look for the places in your life that you’re filling up, just because you can. Search for those voids, those holes, those places deep inside that you may not want to deal with, and get rid of the “can” you too often put in front of it.
Because, just because we can, doesn’t mean we should.
See what I mean? It’ll totally work in your life, too.
It doesn’t just apply to us as individuals, but to our communities, our states and our world. Just because we can bomb countries, doesn’t mean we should bomb countries, you know? So, what is it for you? What comes to mind when you hear this phrase?0