Guest post Tuesday is here! Today you get to hear from a friend across the internet portals, someone I’m figuring out this mama-writer life alongside. Callie’s message is both simple and profoundly true today, because sometimes we need others to dream dreams for us. Keep reading to see what she has to say.
I was in the throes of early motherhood. Not the very first stage, when people deliver meals and give you a pass on showing up places un-showered and clad in yoga pants. But the next stage when you realize that you have to function as a heavy-eyed zombie while still caring for a predictably unpredictable newborn.
Our son was born just eleven months after we got married, quickly changing our plans for the future. With Hadden’s arrival came the departure of my dreams – dreams of grad school, of a job in my field, of paying off student loans quickly, and of spending a few carefree years as newlyweds.
Instead I was a literal stay-at-home mother most days. We were living in a new state and I was faced with the realization that this life l looked so different from the one I’d dreamt of on my wedding day. I loved our son, but I was still clinging to the future I had planned in my head.
On the phone with my sister that day I expressed my frustration.
“Don’t think that this is the end,” she said simply.
When I didn’t understand, she elaborated, painting a verbal picture of what my life could look like.
What I had planned was undoubtedly the easier route to my dreams, but my sister showed me that it wasn’t the only way. Grad school could be accomplished one class at a time while my son was little or I could wait until my son was grown to get my graduate degree. School loans would take longer to pay off on a single income, but in the end, it would happen. And my husband and I could still travel the world, but we could do it as a family.
As a typical 20 something-year old, I couldn’t see far beyond my current stage of life. All around me my cohorts were conquering the world (or so it seemed to me). I felt left behind. In the all-encompassing chapter of caring for a newborn, I forgot that it was just that, a chapter and not the conclusion.
“Don’t think that this is the end.”
In that moment, my sister did what I couldn’t do for myself: she dreamt for me. My plans had shattered in front of my face and she picked up the remnants and pieced them back together.
I am still a stay-at-home mother, but now I’m able to enjoy it. Instead of building a life rigidly around my dreams, I’ve learned to flex and adjust my dreams to fit into the life I have now. I treasure these days with my son and I’m able to fully appreciate them knowing that this is simply a stage and that there is indeed life after baby.
Callie Glorioso-Mays is a chronic over-thinker, a recovering people-pleaser, and the source of far too many questions. She has a degree in Applied Psychology with a minor in Biblical Studies. Callie is married to Caleb, a Cyber Space Operations officer in the USAF, and is the mother of Hadden, who is competing for the award of Precocious Child of the Year. They are currently stationed outside of Omaha, Nebraska. Get to know Callie even more by reading her blog, following her on Twitter or subscribing to her Facebook page. So tell us, how has someone dreamt for you, when you weren’t able to see it for yourself? Otherwise, what did Callie say that encouraged you today? Cheer her on in the comments below!0