Guest post Tuesday, guest post Tuesday! Today’s writer is the lovely Rachel, who captures what it means to make the choice to live positively in the moment …even when a two-year-old seems to dictate every brain thought and reaction-filled emotion. So revel in what our friend has to say today, and – of course, as usual – enjoy.
She didn’t answer. But that was okay, at least to me (initially). To my toddler, though, having Auntie not answer our Skype call was devastating. I think we tried to call her at least 12 more times, that mechanical ring sounding ever louder each time we’d attempt a connection. At the time, it was quite annoying but my daughter was insistent that we talk to Auntie.
I will admit I got a bit frustrated. Frustrated because I knew she wouldn’t answer if she didn’t answer right away. Frustrated because I was exhausted but we were out of milk which meant I couldn’t have an iced chai. Frustrated because there was a pile of diapers left to assemble from last night’s cleaning cycle and I simply didn’t have the energy to do them. And frustrated because my daughter just wouldn’t let it go. Auntie was not going to answer.
Of course, she was chirping on and on about “Auntie no answer” and “Auntie not there” and even “Auntie call us?”.
Instead of reveling in her sing song voice that will mature into a true little girl at any moment, instead of making a game out of the repeat attempts to reach her beloved Auntie, instead of acknowledging her disappointment and demonstrating empathy with her difficulty…I got frustrated. By the littlest thing.
I had a choice that morning. Enjoy the hopeful search for Auntie through cyberspace and join in my daughter’s anticipation of a potential conversation with this woman she and I both love or get frustrated by what I, in that moment, deemed annoying.
In my journey through motherhood, I’ve been more than disappointed in myself. I am a recovering perfectionist and control freak, two conditions I am sure I will never be completely free of. But in the last two years, I’ve learned more about myself as well as of God.
How many times has He patiently waited through my repeated pleas for what to Him could seem incredibly small? Because of His great love for us, He never once cast off my request as frustrating or as lacking His attention. Sure, I didn’t get an answer right away but then again maybe I did, seeing as unanswered prayers are also a form of answer (to channel a famous country music singer).
A Skype call, or unanswered one, rather, brought out the worst in me. Upon recollection, though, I think it also illuminated where I need to work the most. On patience, on remembering and comprehending just how much patience my Heavenly Father has for me, and on the incredible opportunity I’m given each day I get to spend with a child who will be little for not much longer.
In case you’re still wondering, Auntie did call back. The ear to ear grin my newly turned two year old was something I’ll never forget. Yes, her smile was technically small in size and in brevity, but giant in its ability to imprint on my mind. It’s something I’ll go back to every time I get frustrated over something small.
Rachel is a stay at home mom to a toddler. Her husband brings home the big bucks as a high school science teacher, and she helps out financially by coaching (cross country, basketball, and rowing) and substitute teaching at her hubby’s high school (where she taught HS science, pre-baby). She writes about living with perseverance, passion, and purpose (or, what she deems Mason Jar Values) over at rachelzupke.com. Because life for Rachel = faith and family, homemaking, real food and natural living, outdoor adventures with their Siberian Husky, and local happenings. You can also find her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. So, your thoughts? (This coming from someone who just posted “PSA to the whole wide world: don’t ever try and reason with a two-year-old”…). What have you learned about yourself and about the world in one small moment? Encourage Rachel today!0