Yesterday’s post got me thinking: in case you’re in need of a new job, and need to know whether or not one of my 20+ previously held jobs might be a good fit for you, read on!
Server (Izzy’s Pizza): this job is especially perfect if you love cleaning up large amounts of chewed-up pizza crusts and chicken bones from parties of 20 who leave approximately $6.27 in tips.
Server (Rockin’ Rogers): if you want to relive the epic 1950’s burger joint in all its milkshake, poodle skirt and greasy burger glory, this place is for you. Plus, you can add “getting fired” to your resume of really cool things to have under your belt, even though it takes you a little while to figure out that you’ll never be on the schedule again.
Insurance telemarketer: please, please, please become an insurance telemarketer if you have a strong preference for rejection and the overall wrath of humanity.
Associate (Nordstrom Anniversary Sale): try beating me at folding a shirt properly. I double dog dare you.
Security Guard (Oregon State Fair): This takes the cake in the game “I’ve never”: I mean, can you boast that you were a security guard for Rocket, the 8-foot tall robot? I didn’t think so. Drink up.
Caterer (Food Services): Not only is this one step up from Lunch Lady, this job boasts green-eyed envy from your dorm buddies when leftover chicken tetrazzini is brought home after an eight-hour Saturday shift.
Front Desk Worker (Tingelstad): Really, is there a better job description? Greet dorm occupants, smile coyly at cute boys and eye suspicious visitors. Do your homework whilst loudly singing along to Shania Twain, much to the chagrin of the vast majority’s alternative-listening Northwest selves.
Tree Counter (Plant Services): as official assistant to the director, this pretty much takes the cake in perfect college jobs. Show up to work at 8 am; walk around campus mapping out and counting all the trees on the PLU campus (863, for your information); go back to dorm room and sleep for an hour and a half; resume counting until 11. Done.
Resident Assistant: I was so this peppy person. Are you really that surprised?
Lifeguard (YMCA): This might be another great “I’ve Never” game: have you ever lost rock-paper-scissors, and had to dive into the family pool at the YMCA to retrieve floaty, stringy poo at the end of your shift? If nothing else, this is good preparation for parenthood, I suppose.
Student Staff (Young Life): I got paid to do what I was passionate about as a college student; I have nothing snarky to say in reply.
Barista (Starbucks): Be introduced to the wide, wide world of coffee as you work for The Man. Watch fellow baristas sneak vials of vodka into their iced triple grande extra caramel-caramel macchiatos, and quite mistakenly go on an after-hours date to Denny’s with a customer who has a fondness and passion for the extraterrestrial, believing himself to be one. This is what memories are made of, folks.
Red Hat and Program (Frontier Ranch): Hang out in the trees all day and learn how to make really cool knot tricks. Talk into a microphone till you’re blue in the face and claim a camp name reminiscent of a rabid dog from the Stephen King novel. Make life-long friendships, hang out with kids all day and super-duper grow in your faith.
English Teacher and Leadership Advisor (MVCS and PHS): Loved: the art of teaching, the English language in and of itself, and high school kids. Did not love: grading, teaching at a Christian school, and the evil Miss Mac that came out in having to be a disciplinarian.
Middle School Director & Area Director (Young Life): You’re called in until you’re called out – ain’t that the truth of ministry? My work an extension of my core beliefs, I loved being with kids and volunteers and donors alike – because relationships are at the heart of the mission. I did not love all the spinning plates and subsequently never feeling fully successful in any one area of my job.
Speaker (retreats, camps, etc): Shake hands, kiss babies. Talk about Jesus, talk to Jesus (holing up in your room again, reading and writing and praying and figuring out how best to communicate a simple truth). Best job ever.
What about you? What’s the best job you’ve ever had? Worst? Funniest? Ever been fired? (Join the club). Let’s converse!0